The 12 Dos and Don'ts of Wedding Toasts! — Harmony Weddings and Events - Wedding Planners in Raleigh NC

As planners, we listen to wedding toasts nearly every weekend! Some have brought us to tears and others have made us cringe. We deeply love our couples and want them to love their toasts, not to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Here are our top 12 dos and don’ts that will help you give the perfect wedding toast!

Photo Credit: Morgan Caddell Photography

DOS

Keep it between 2-4 minutes
Weddings days are LONG! Toasts are often one of the final things before dancing so people are ready to boogie! The best toasts are short and sweet.
Briefly touch on how you the know couple
Many guests may not know who you are or how you know the couple. Start by sharing a brief description of your relationship. This can include a sweet story of how you first met. Just remember, the toast shouldn’t be all about you :)
Speak to both partners
Even though you likely know one person significantly better than the other, make sure you are speaking to both partners. Some ideas of things to share are:
- The first time you were with them as a couple
- When you first knew they were perfect for each other
- What you love most about them as a couple
- Be complimentary, share specific qualities you love about them
Make guests laugh AND cry
Our favorite toasts share stories that make us laugh and move us to tears. All the guests love hearing funny and sweet stories about the couple together as well. Make sure to avoid inside jokes that everyone can’t enjoy together.
If you are stumped, include a beautiful quote or scripture that speaks to them
If you are having a hard time writing your toast or remembering stories, include a quote that reminds you of the couple or that is great advice. Avoid generic advice that is not meaningful to you such as “never go to bed angry”.
End the toast on a high, joyful, hopeful note and inviting the guests to raise their glass and toast the couple!
At some weddings all of the guests will have champagne and at others they will just toast with whatever they are drinking. Either way, don’t forget to invite everyone to raise their glass!

DON’Ts

Have too much to drink before giving your toast
Please do not cause the couple and their guests (and planner!) stress by trying to give a toast while intoxicated! It truly takes away from how special the moment is.
Start by saying how nervous you are or how much you hate public speaking
Very few people love speaking in public! No need to take time out of your very short speech to let everyone know how nervous you are. Just find your inner confidence and no one will ever know!
Wing it
Of course, you do not have to write and read the toast word for word but it is best to at least have a plan.
Reference any previous significant others, fiancés, or spouses
Just don’t. It is never a good idea.
Share stories/make comments that leave them feeling embarrassed
This is their wedding, NOT the right time to make the couple feel embarrassed! You should especially avoid jokes related to the wedding night or honeymoon, keep in mind grandma is there.
Reference them having children if they have not explicitly said they want them
Many couples do not plan to have children or may not be able to. Avoid speaking about them as parents unless you are certain they do plan to have/adopt children!
We hope these tips help you to give a simple, heartwarming and personal toast!